Stacey Brook is a Writer, Blogger, Author

Archive for December, 2011

Holiday Gift Guide: A Very Cthulu Christmas

December 2011

Having trouble wrapping your arms around what to get your friends and family for the holidays? Turn to your favorite cephalopods for help. Who isn’t romanced by the squiggly arms of a squid or the suckers of a many-limbed sea creature? From neckties, to jewelry, to classic Christmas ornaments, tentacles are wrapping everything in holiday spirit. So embrace the Cthulu, the octopus and the giant, man-eating squid, and get Kraken on purchasing gifts that will inspire many two-armed embraces.

Start by having yourself a very Cthulu Christmas:

(Tentacle Christmas Tree Ornament by Blissful Earth Jewelry)

 

Some decor for your friends who can’t keep plants alive, but who like to startle house guests into screaming, “It’s alive!”

(Tentacle Plant by societysedso)

 

Help your hot single lady friends pull in some Lovecraft-loving fellas.

(Tentacle Attack White Mini Dress Tunic by Strange Jam)

 

Want to give your lady a gift she’ll cherish forever? It will be hard for her to lose a ring that’s suckered to her hand.

(Diamond Tentacle Ring by Peggy Skemp Jewelry)

 

Forget ordinary Christmas cards. Wave hello to your family and friends, cephalopod style.

(Tentacle Personalized Notecards by cardinalink)

 

What would the open sea be without a little libation?

(Tentacle Winestopper by Dellamorteco)

 

Just about the only time you want a tentacle wrapped tightly around your neck.

(Sucker Necktie by Cyberoptix)

 

Ease the kiddies into their nerducation with a plush version of our tentacled friend.

(Lil Cthulu by Sailorscoutfan)

 

Get meta and give an octopus shirt printed with octopus ink.

(Tentacle Tee by Octopus Ink Clothing)

 

Who knew slimy sea creatures could be so glamorous?

(Stolen Pearls Gold Octopus Hair Clip by Steampunk Couture)

 

In place of KEEP OUT signage.

(Tentacle Vinyl Art by stickypic)

 

For friends who are planning on taking their love of sea creatures underwater:

(Tentacle Applique One Piece Bodysuit by Collective Chaos)

 

An early morning reminder that you’re a nerd.

(Handpainted Octopus Ceramic Travel Mug by SewZinski)

 

Eat octopus and then rest your chopsticks on octopus. Creepy. Cruel. Awesome.

(Tentacle Chopstick Holders by natalidotca)

 

And when all else fails, go simple. Perfect.

(Tentacle Ring in Solid Bronze by mrd74)

 

(Cthulu Christmas Extra Long Silver Tentacle Necklace by RockLove)

This guide originally appeared on EtsyBrook.

How to Make a Machine Gun Leg

December 2011

Don’t mess with me or I’ll make the bottom half of your leg disappear.

When Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez’s “Grindhouse” hit movie theaters in 2007, I walked out of the theater knowing one day I would figure out how to dress like Cherry Darling for Halloween, machine gun leg and all. Clearly the issue with this costume is not so much in the fabrication of a machine gun as it is in the faked disappearance of a limb from the knee down. How the hell do you vanish a leg from knee to toe?

Easy! Just follow these simple steps.

1. For five years, think about how much you want to dress up as Cherry Darling with the machine gun leg, each year deciding it’s absolutely impossible.

2. On the fifth year, tell a bunch of friends who really believe in your craftiness about your machine gun leg idea. Make sure to assert the level of awesomocity and impossibility so they will get super pumped up about it, refusing to let you off the hook. These folks must be able to regularly remind you that no costume will ever be as cool as a half naked, machine-gun-legged zombie killer; especially when you call two weeks before Halloween, begging them to just let you drop the leg thing and dress like Katy Perry.

3. Sit and stare into space for hours, trying to figure out how you’re going to make your massive right calf disappear, before you do what you clearly should have done in the first place. Consult the internet.

4. Google “Cherry Darling Machine Gun Leg,” and see that — WHOA. Someone has done this before. And ohmigod it looks amazing! But how did she do it?

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

5. Oh, right. SHE’S AN ACTUAL AMPUTEE. You are going straight to hell.

6. Notice that said amputee, Lacey Henderson, a gorgeous, totally inspiring woman who posed as Cherry Darling at the ‘07 San Diego Comic Con, has actually created a site specifically devoted to faking the amputee machine gun leg. Scour the site, stealing the tricks of all those who have come before you.

7. Start to gather materials. Search eBay for a too-realistic toy machine gun, all the while feeling like a dirty criminal. Spend far too much time and energy choosing your fake firearm. Should you get a gun that lights up and makes noise? Probably.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

8. Scour Etsy for sellers who use PVC and faux leather and grommets in their handmade garments, and commission the talented Olga of Decadent Designs to make you a custom Cherry Darling outfit that will give you slightly more coverage than you would be offered by a red and black Ziploc sandwich bag.

9. This is the hard part — casting the leg. Does your father by any chance happen to be a foot doctor? If not, may I suggest you go back in time and make sure he goes off to podiatry school? Once you’ve arranged it so that your father fixes feet for a living, raid your father’s supply closet full of surgical tape and hard casting materials. Then, sucker one of his associates into casting you from knee to thigh on his lunch break.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Here’s how the casting has to happen: Change into a pair of bike shorts, and, instead of pushing your right leg all the way through the leghole, keep your leg bent, allowing the spandex of the short to press your calf/heel to the back of your thigh/booty. Then you wrap an ace bandage tightly around your waist, pulling the leg closer into itself.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Then, with a compression sock acting as a barrier between your leg and the casting tape, have the doc (or a friend who doesn’t mind working with messy fiberglass) build the cast around your leg while it is bent together. Leave a small opening at the bottom through which you will eventually push the butt of your massive toy gun.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

The panda headband isn’t crucial to the process, but I like to think it helps.

When fully dry, pull off the cast and wedge the gun through the hole by the knee.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Secure the gun to the “stump” using more casting tape.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Revel in your craftsmanship.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Once the leg is built, the only problem that remains is figuring out how you’re actually going to wear the thing on All Hallow’s Eve. The answer is, very carefully. And to strap yourself into the cast on the big night, you’re probably going to need a team of devoted friends to help you through the process. I recommend recruiting at least two special helpers — one to help you pull the cast on while you desperately try to keep your balance, the other to capture the madness on film. I don’t know how I could have pulled this off without my friends Lauren and Mara to hold my hand (and leg) along the way.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Bending back the leg.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Pulling on the inner stocking.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Pushing up the cast.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Eh, voila!

That wasn’t so hard, now was it? Okay, yes it was.

Occasionally you will need your friends to, say, to carry you from one end of your apartment to the other.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

Because if you hadn’t already guessed — this is not the most mobile of costumes. Ladies on the Cherry Darling costume site had recommended attaching a rubber cane tip to the end of the machine gun for extra grip while walking, but there was no motherloving way I was going to try and put all my weight on that $16 toy gun while strapped up like a contortionist. I love Halloween, but I’m not actually going to die for it.

Still, Lauren and Mara helped put me in position for a super awesome Cherry Darling photo shoot so we could capture the success of the illusion. Lauren got behind the camera and Mara was in charge of “styling,” i.e. pulling down my skirt down when my own foot threatened to push it up over my head from behind my body. The session took about thirty minutes to complete, which is about about the point at which my right ankle started to lose circulation and my left butt cheek began to scream for the heavens. It’s okay — I’ve always wanted a super fit left buttock.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

I wouldn’t recommend anyone stay with her leg strapped to her behind for more than thirty minutes anyway. Snap a few awesome pictures, enjoy the momentary spoils of all your planning, and then reward your hard work with the blessed gift of standing. Walking. Feeling your lower extremeties.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

I do have to say, now that Halloween is over I’m a little nervous about how I’m going to top this costume next year. What can I do that will be equally as impressive? Feign full invisibility? Achieve actual flight? But I guess I’ll worry about that come next October (okay, August). For now, I’m just content to have kicked a little ass.

How To Make A Machine Gun Leg by Stacey Brook

This post originally appeared on EtsyBrook.

No Really, This Is Not A Costume

December 2011

I love Halloween more than the average nerd. Over the years I have funneled pumpkin buckets full of cash into commissioning costumes that sate my desire for pure celebratory and sartorial excess. But even I get sick of dropping dollars on intricate outfits whose price-per-wear can only be divided by one. I haven’t once purchased a costume that could later be worn out on an average Friday night in NYC.

Unless you can think I can get away with this at the bar?

In fact, I’m pretty sure the most consistently used item I have ever bought for a costume was a $6 hot pink Revlon Lipstick I purchased to give a final pop to a Peggy Bundy getup — a lip color that has since been used almost every year on Halloween, and beyond.

Everybody, let’s hear it for

Still, it would be nice to purchase a costume that could actually serve some use after parading it around and sloshing it with pumpkin-flavored beer at 3 AM. Before we get into where a person might be able to find some such outfits and accessories, a quick tip:

This place is your enemy. There is no way you are going to reuse a single item purchased from this store between October 1st and 31st. Where are you ever going to wear those I Dream of Jeannie harem pants? Or that shiny, poly pirate shirt you used to magically turn yourself into The Goblin King? The answer is nowhere, and I can personally attest to the uselessness of that satiny, ruffled abomination. As a rule, if a costume comes in a hanging plastic bag, it goes in a garbage bag after one wear. I’m pretty sure Halloween’s fairy godmother actually turns all those mass-manufactured costumes back into pumpkins the day after Halloween, right around when the clock strikes “brunch.”

So the question remains: If you’re looking to make a purchase that you can wear both on, and long past All Hallow’s Eve, where should you look, and what should you buy?

Etsy.com’s handmade marketplace is definitely a good place to start. The site’s sellers are expert at putting a modern spin on classic costumes, and turning out effortlessly wearable garments injected with just enough humor and/or drama to make them costume appropriate. Because I love playing the Handmade Halloween Fairy, I curated a special selection of wearables and accessories that will lend you a magical air on Halloween night, and fit right into your wardrobe the next day. Let’s get this costume party started:

 

Nautical-themed pieces are endlessly reworkable. On Halloween you are a pinup sailor girl, and on vacation you are the lady with the killer retro swimsuit.

 

These superhero long johns will help you fight Halloween crime, and also keep you warm when the cold comes in. And as we all know, winter is coming.

 

One of my many sartorial mottos: Leopard conquers all. I particularly love the single long-sleeve on this incarnation. Just put a bone in your hair, and you’re ready to get out there and meet the caveman of your dreams.

 

This exposed brain headband takes zombie makeup to the next level, and, for the quirky among us, is a fun everyday accessory. If you’re a little more on the conservative side, you can always save it for special occasions. Wear it to the next family holiday dinner. Grandma’s gonna love it.

 

Can Halloween justify the purchase of these gorgeous gem-encrusted epaulettes? Maybe you can be a bandleader. Or a member of some ultra femme army. Or Janet Jackson in 1986. All I know is, I would wear these now. To the market.

 

How about something for the fellas?

You can’t go wrong with an ascot. Sherlock Holmes? Scooby Doo’s Fred? Even Michael Corleone wore one upon occasion. And those things look pretty dashing on fellas who can actually figure out how to tie the things.

 

And don’t ask me how exactly, but I have a feeling one in three men could find a use for this dino suit, long after Halloween.

 

For the couples in the house, why not get a little multicultural in these Lederhosen tees? With some knee socks and a Bavarian beer in your hand, it’s a costume. With just the beer in your hand, you’re drunk. And adorable.

 

So costume away, folks! Share your best ideas in the comments below. And if you do manage to find something that can be worn on Halloween and in the days after, just try to wash it before you take it out for a second spin. No one likes a smelly dinosaur.

M.A.S.H. for NYC Adults

December 2011

You remember M.A.S.H. It was sort of like the paper fortune-teller game, but requiring fewer impossible-to-master origami skills. It was also like going to a psychic at age 10, if the soothsayer had the savvy to put Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Andrew Keegan on your list of potential suitors, and setting your honeymoon at Six Flags Great Adventure. Plus M.A.S.H. belied our still hyper-positive, adolescent outlook on the future: Of the four-or-five choices in each category, most of them bestowed upon you a sparkling home, a sleek red car, and a choice profession, while only one option stuck you in a shack, put a jalopy in your driveway, or made you the garbage man. (Though in NYC, is that really so bad?  What benefits you would get!) Since, in our preteen years, we were clearly not capable of making savory choices for ourselves (see: UMBRO shorts), M.A.S.H. helped us decide what we might want to fantasize about doing with the rest of our lives.

Partially because I will never stop concocting crazy possibilities for how my future might play out, and mostly because I wanted an excuse to buy a brand new set of 36 neon/sparkly/metallic Gel Pens ($14 at Staples – RUN, DON’T WALK), I updated the game of M.A.S.H. to include some more realistic scenarios for the modern, New York single lady. So draw that spiral* and figure out the magic number that will strike the attached Husbands, One-Time Celebrity Passes, and Creative Side Projects from your ultimate destiny.

*In case you don’t know what I mean by “draw that spiral,” here’s a refresher on the rules of the game: How To Play M.A.S.H.

Stacey Brook is an NYC-based writer who documents her eccentric wardrobe and handmade/crafting obsessions on EtsyBrook.com. She is also writing a book of personal essays on her failed dating experiences. In all likelihood she will end up living in Ouihauken with a money-grubbing manchild, occasionally fucking Meatloaf.

OMMMMG: So Many Yoga Studios in the Neighborhood – Part 2

December 2011

It’s a boom time for yoga studios in Williamsburg/Greenpoint. When I first began researching for Part I of this story, I was aware there was a surge of new places to practice yoga in the neighborhood, but I didn’t realize we were in a veritable cornfield of them. Turns out that behind those barricades we all thought contained high-rise apartment buildings—just yoga studios! Miles and miles of yoga studios. If you haven’t yet sought out a neighborhood practice space for your plow pose, it’s a wonder you haven’t tripped into one, given their prevalence. It’s even possible you are living in a yoga studio and haven’t realized it yet. Take a whiff of the air—is it incense-scented? Is your pup, Sparky, all of a sudden stretching with his back knees bent, and his pelvis tipped in the air? Are people touchy about you wearing shoes inside your own home?

But in all seriousness, what is wonderful is that each location offers a different flavor of practice; a unique pathway to enlightenment and philosophy of mind/body healing. There are studios for those who like chanting, and studios for those who want to skip the “OM” business and dive straight into a workout. There are studios in the east, in the west, and Southside and Northside. And while there are ever more variations of the eastern discipline dotting our enlightened streets, what remains a common theme, is that when we come together to heal ourselves, good feeling and goodwill prevail throughout our community.

Yoga to the People (Affordable Yoga)
211 N. 11th St. 2nd Floor
b/w Driggs Ave. and Roebling St.

Yoga To The People’s name is instantly recognizable. The first YTTP studio cropped up on St. Mark’s place four-and-a-half years ago, and is now one of the premiere spots for donation-based Power Vinyasa in Manhattan, holding heralded classes crammed with post-workday yogis, some-times as many as 60 at a time. The brand new Williamsburg outpost hasn’t garnered quite that much traffic yet, but I would be surprised if the studio’s contingency didn’t grow rapidly in the coming weeks. When I attended class at 4:30pm on a Tuesday, the just-opened traditional hot yoga studio held a class of about sixteen, one of the largest classes I attended in my ongoing yoga marathon. YTTP also had the most equal male to female ratio of any class I attended, and I don’t know about the other ladies in the neighborhood, but I am always motivated to work a little harder when there’s some strapping muscle around.

Eye candy aside, the studio’s hot yoga room is something special to behold, equipped with state-of-the art flooring used in upscale saunas and mirrored on three out of four walls. The space is also outfitted with a long row of windows above the mirrors on the front wall that offer a view of the towering, golden dome of the Russian Orthodox Church by McCarren Park and the blue open sky, which, when you’re folded in half inside a pressure cooker, appears cool and inviting.

YTTP Williamsburg will soon add donation-based Power Vinyasa to its repertoire. (Suggested donation of $10, obligation of $0.) The practice room is still under construc-tion, and should be ready within the next few weeks. In
the meantime, take advantage of the studio’s extremely affordable hot yoga classes, priced at $8 for a drop-in, just enough to cover the cost of the heat and water, of which
you will receive and need plenty.

Greenhouse Holistic Yoga and Massage
(Yoga’s Mini-Empire)
88 Roebling St. (@ N. 7th St.)
783 Driggs Ave. (@ S. 4th St.)
445 Grand St. (@ Keap St.)

718-599-3113

greenhouseholistic.com

David Greenhouse was a visionary when he opened Greenhouse Holistic almost ten years ago. Sure, it’s clear the residents of our neighborhood are mad for mountain pose now, but Greenhouse has been offering therapeutic exertion, relaxation, and meditation to the denizens of Williamsburg since long before the first vegan café planted its roots in the Bedford area for post-pigeon pose refueling/indulgence. The yoga mini-empire, which now includes three locations, and a sister spa (where a post-yoga-marathon hot stone massage may very well have saved my life), aims to be a one-stop-shop for your holistic needs, offering massage, nutrition counseling, facials, and various therapists to the community.

The Roebling studio, where I took a class with instructor, Gabby, is a long, narrow space that filled up like a corn popper, representatives of the post-work crowd popping in two or three at a time at 6:30pm on a Tuesday night. I was impressed by how many people fit into the space—yogis, seven to a row, coordinating the alignment of their blue and purple rubber rectangular mats. This is a studio for regulars. People who like to get in, and get it done.

Because of the sheer size of Greenhouse, with its three locations all within walking distance of the Bedford L stop, the studio offers a wide breadth of yoga styles, including Vinyasa Flow, Iyengar, and Ashtanga, with a Mysore class in the works. Greenhouse is also one of the only yoga studios in the neighborhood that also offers Pilates; and a band of regulars strips down for a bellydancing class every Friday night at the Driggs location. Greenhouse also focuses heavily on its teacher training program, which offers another opportunity for its students to deepen their prac-tice and which has helped foster the strong community for which the studio is known.

Drop-in classes are $15, and bulk packages are also available, so visit Greenhouse’s website for more info.

Sangha Yoga Shala
(Nutritious Yoga)
107 N. 3rd St. #2H
b/w Berry St. and Wythe Ave.
sanghayoganyc.com

Sangha Yoga Shala’s owner, Alana Kessler, studied nutrition at New York University and was a practicing, clinical dietician when she began to suspect her yoga practice could become more than just a hobby. The studio she founded, a year and a half ago, is the synthesis of her commitment to both her nutrition career and ever-evolving yoga practice. SYS offers a variety of classes of the Ashtanga-inspired Vinyasa variety, and will soon offer Iyengar, which will make use of the studio’s extensive system of rope walls. Alana also offers her nutrition consultation services, during which she tells people like me to trade in their Fruit Loops for Kashi. “People who come to me [for my consultation services] already have a body awareness,” she notes.

Located on N. 3rd Street, Sangha Yoga Shala is housed in a new, flat-faced building that doesn’t belie the existence of such a spacious practice environment. Alana designed the studio as a “boutique urban sanctuary.” High curtains keep the space airy while providing privacy for yogis changing by a tall wall of cubbies; and maroon armchairs in the common area are extra inviting places to lounge, perhaps while munching on something cooked up in the space’s gleaming, full kitchen—an expected amenity in the studio of a nutrition junkie. The studio has even partnered with a custom bakery that offers gluten- and dairy-free baked goods.

“I’m probably going to make myself dinner here after class,” she told me after a vigorous Wednesday night Vinyasa session. I’ll assume she wasn’t making Kraft macaroni and cheese.

Sangha Yoga Shala’s classes usually host about seven students on average. Drop in classes are $18, and a 5-class package is $75, with a two-month expiration date. And don’t let Google Maps fool you—the studio is located on N. 3rd, not N. 6th. The coordinates are wrong in the system, and will steer you to Go Yoga (covered in Part I) instead.

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Usha Veda
(Yoga Love)

1104 Manhattan Ave.
b/w Dupont St. and Clay St.
ushavedayoga.com

If you’re going to make yoga your evening activity, you might as well romance yourself. Which is why, late one Friday evening, I donned my yoga finery and whisked myself away to Usha Veda’s moody, candlelight session.

The 8:30pm class was taught by Nami, a gorgeous, dreadlocked yogi with a honey-voice made for seduction and calming hypnosis. She could have put me in a trance during a fire drill. In a class of just three people, Nami pushed us each to our individual limits, subtly pushing down on my neighbor’s lower back to help him touch his toes, and making sure I couldn’t cheat my way through the Vinyasa (“thighs don’t touch the ground”), and that my warrior posture was so perfect I almost let out a battle cry. At a weekend Vinyasa class a few weeks later a different instructor opened up our session with philosophical words about love. “Yoga does not talk specifically about romantic love, but J.Krishnamurti, the Indian philosopher, describes relationship as an act which brings us closer to self realization, and with that in mind, yoga is the tool to bring us to the possibility of self knowledge. I always try to connect the physical practice to the philosophy of yoga, which is in truth the core of what yoga is.”

Usha Veda’s storefront studio is located in the far northern corner of Greenpoint between Clay and Dupont, where owner Christina Mattus and other local business owners have created their own warm little community.

If you don’t live in Greenpoint proper the walk towards the water is worth it for the near-private classes of between four and ten students on average. Usha Veda’s Manhattan Avenue storefront location is a few months old, and calming, gauzy curtains protect the practice space from the street. Christina, who has lived as a tenant in the building for three years, converted the space, previously used for storage. “I always wanted to clean it up and practice yoga in here,” she says.

Usha Veda offers a wide range of classes, including Vinyasa, Hatha, Pilates and Ashtanga Mysore, which focuses on postures linked with breath. The studio also holds restorative yoga classes and focuses yoga therapy for those recovering from illness and surgery. Sunday workshops have included Yoga Nidra, a yogic sleep session.

Abhyasa Yoga Center
(Feel-Good Yoga)

628 Metropolitan Ave.
b/w Lorimer St. and Leonard St.
(718) 782-8272
abhyasayogacenter.com

At Abhyasa Yoga Center, attitude is key. J. Brown, the studio’s owner, calls the amalgamated style of yoga he has developed at his studio, “A twelve-step program for A-Type personalities.” (Uh oh.) The practice Abhyasa promotes, which is deeply rooted in the tradition of prominent yogi, T.K.V. Desikachar, focuses on Ujjayi or “ocean breathing,” and is slower and simpler than your average yoga class.
The practice isn’t about achievement or transcendence—it’s about enjoying being where you are. “There’s nowhere you need to get to,” J. intoned in the practice room, as we eased into our wheel positions, or took comfortable, if shaky, tree poses. “In this philosophy, falling with a smile is more celebrated than maintaining your balance,” he added.
J., with his charming smile and warm, encouraging baritone, makes it easy to keep your spirits high and your stress level down. He received his training at Go Yoga, where he was a teacher for over seven years. He opened Abhyasa to expose his students to a different way of thinking about the yoga practice. The tactics offered at Abhyasa come from principles traditionally meant to be imparted one-on-one, though J. successfully implements them in a group setting with his unbounded interactivity. He knows everyone’s names, and asks about everyone’s injuries and wellness state individually before beginning class. He also takes the time at the beginning of every session to talk new students through the process of Ujjayi breathing, demo-ing the hisses of the deep intake and exhale.

Slowing down your practice can be tough for those of us who crave that post-workout soreness, our unofficial Yoga Scout badge of honor. But if you take a minute to step back and breathe, J.’s yoga philosophy has transference to other areas of our lives. “If you’re struggling and having a crappy time, you’re practicing struggling and having a crappy time,” J. says, pushing my back leg in on my warrior one pose to lessen the strain on my hamstring. I expel the air from my lungs with an audible flourish, and the pain is removed from my body. Makes sense to me.

goodyoga nyc
(Bed and Breakfast and Yoga)

73 Calyer St.
b/w Franklin St. and West St.
(718) 554-3968
guru@goodyoganyc.com
goodyoganyc.com

Entering goodyoga nyc is like walking into a yoga pajama party, yogis padding around in leggings and socks, making tea, lighting incense, eating cereal. The studio takes up the entirety of an enormous converted factory on Calyer—a building in which goodyoga owner Ray Gonzalez was once a tenant. It was converted and transformed about two years ago by Ray and his partner Flannery Foster into a full-service yoga studio/massage center and bed and breakfast/art space/hang zone.
goodyoga offers many different styles of yoga, including a regular Morning Mysore class, and Primary and Half Primary Led Ashtanga classes. A lot of the practice rooms within the goodyoga building are convertible, so where you practice one day, you might be receiving a massage from one of goodyoga’s trained therapists the next. There is even a place for goodyoga’s house stylist to cut people’s hair, and a gorgeous rooftop where students do sun salutations with the sunrise in the warmer months.

There is a unique sense of camaraderie and comfort among the students and teachers who practice and work at the space, perhaps because there are actual places to live set up within goodyoga’s four enormous walls. Three bed and breakfast rooms reside within the goodyoga sphere (one of which you actually have to walk through a yoga room to enter). The rates are $100 for a single, $150 for a double, which include yoga, a 10% discount on massage and wellness services, and access to two common lounges that overlook a massive kitchen where goodyoga occasionally holds healthy cooking seminars and demos for their members and staff. The rooms have hosted a variety of intriguing guests, and were recently occupied by a Swedish ambassador and an international journalist.

But most of the patrons of goodyoga can usually be found in one of the space’s two enormous studios, or in the main kitchen, open to all yoga students, where you are likely to run into the studio’s two cats, Bowie and Iman.

Classes are $20 for drop-in sessions, so the intro week-long deal is a steal at only $20.

Yoga South 11
(Grassroots Yoga)

55 S. 11th St. #207
b/w Wythe Ave. and Berry St
(646) 234-2045
yogasouth11.com

Zelina Blagden, a mixed-media artist and photographer, opened Yoga South 11 a few months ago, in the heart of Hasidic Williamsburg. Zelina, who received her teacher training at Greenhouse Holistic (reviewed above), is no stranger to the yoga game. She has been an instructor for over a decade, and in 2007 went on tour with Rufus Wainwright as his private yoga guru. She still teaches weekly classes at Greenhouse, but branched off to also develop her own studio to offer students a free-style and more personal practice.
The focus of Yoga South 11’s program lies in Zelina’s highly original “Freestyle It” session, in which Zelina encourages her students to do, well, whatever they like. “Ultimately yoga is a self-practice,” she says. You can also expect a fair amount of spirituality to emanate from Zelina, who is environment-conscious and interested in how yoga connects us to the planet. If you’re looking for yoga minus the meditation you will not find it here. “I’m not into the Starbucks of yoga,” Zelina says.

Yoga South 11 takes up half of Zelina’s combination yoga/art studio space, and has a true homegrown feel to it. The white walls are decorated at their horizontal midline with broad, haphazard strokes of red; the meditation “Om Namah Sivaya” hand-lettered over the crimson base. Wildlife paintings of owls by Zelina’s artist father, Allen Blagden, sporadically dot the remaining white. A shrine at the front of the room houses a pot-bellied Buddha surrounded by live greenery, some of it as tall as the window. By example, Zelina encourages free expression.
The night I attended class, we were a spirited group of three, but Yoga South 11’s room could serve the practice of seven or eight at a time. Zelina played mellow music to accompany our practice, but will often play a more upbeat soundtrack to drown out the noise from the rehearsal spaces that occupy the rest of the Williamsburg flat/floor. If you attend the sessions, you must also have love for Zelina’s dog Goose, an adorably zen black labmix.

Human@Ease
(Well-Rounded Yoga)

31 Nassau Ave., b/w Dobbin St. and Guersney St.
Brooklyn, NY 11222,
humanatease.com

Dishan Elise, owner of the gorgeous yoga studio and gym facility, Human@Ease, on Nassau, knows that variety is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Just as a diet of all apples won’t keep the doctor away, an exercise regimen of all yoga may not be enough to bring a person to their peak performance. Which is why Human@Ease’s facility is the perfect place to hone one’s body, and mind, combining a fitness regimen with the more mindful practice of yoga.

When you walk into Human@Ease, it gives the impression, first and foremost, of a weights gym—the sunniest, airiest gym you’ve ever seen, with daylight pouring in through east-facing windows and reflecting off a gem box of beautifully refurbished equipment. But while Dishan and her trainers offer inexpensive and effective programs for imparting their circuit training knowledge, the focus of the space is yoga. And the yoga classes are diverse and original. The studio is one of the only places in the neighborhood to offer Kundalini Yoga, “the yoga of awareness,” which combines meditation, mantras, physical exercise, and breathing techniques. Many classes also focus on “nada japa”—a call and response chanting system.
And the studio offers tai chi, bellydancing, and even pilates. The yoga studio is decorated with cherry tree branches painted on the walls, and a hanging hammock-full of yoga blankets suspended from the ceiling. During my Saturday morning class, our instructor played a mix of old soul and R&B tunes, marking the first time I really “got down” in downward dog. And Dishan even took the class with me and a couple regulars, getting in her weekly dose of yoga to complement her other workout routines.

Human@Ease also offers acupuncture and other holistic services, as well as access to a two-person infrared sauna ($15 for up to 25 minutes). A shower is available for use by all students. Drop in classes are $16. Currently, they are offering three classes for $30, making it affordable and easy to get started.

OMMMMG: So Many Yoga Studios in the Neighborhood – Part 1

December 2011

Part 1

My Zen is at the peak of productivity. Between morning and afternoon meetings, doctors appointments, a run at the gym, jazzed up on cappuccinos, deadlines looming, I take a minute to focus on my breath, I inhale the city’s car-fumed air … Blackberry still in hand, podcast tunes pumping through my brain, scanning the daily paper … and I exhale.

OMMMMMMmmmm./p>

Even while living life in the fast lane, yoga has always held its promise for me—for stress reduction, flexibility, and promoting overall mental and physical well-being. And as can be witnessed by the insane number of yoga studios opening in the neighborhood in the last few years, it looks as if it’s holding its promise for many others too. Throw a healing stone in the air and you’re bound to hit one. So I set off on a spiritual journey to find the best of what the neighborhood has to offer in the way of pose progressions, earth-based scents, non-melodic chanting, and general good vibes, sampling everything from Vinyasa Flow classes, to super sweaty Bikram, to aerial yoga that had me swinging from the rafters. Whether you’ve never treated your hamstrings to the intensive stretch of the downward dog, or you are already inducted into the art of twisting your-self into a pretzel, one of these classes will put you on the path to tranquility—or at the very least, workout those abs.

So discover your bliss.

Go Yoga
(pioneer yoga)
112 North 6th St.
b/w Wythe Ave. and Berry St.
718-486-5602
goyoga.ws

I start my journey to purity of mind and body at Go Yoga on North 6th St. In an open level class taught by Lilia Mead, a petite brunette who is the studio’s owner. I took my first Vinyasa of the week, brushing away chaturanga cobwebs. The class was a perfect warm-up session for a rusty yogi— slower than I like my practice, but inspirational because Lilia took such care in adjusting my posture.

Go Yoga was one of the first studios in the neighbor-hood when it opened its doors ten years ago. It also boasts a much-regaled staff of instructors, many of whom have remained with Go Yoga since the beginning. Lilia is a patient teacher who effortlessly adjusted the level of the class to my skills. I rewarded her with many failed handstand attempts, and a pigeon pose that was more like “ugly duckling.”

The Go Yoga space is instantly welcoming, and consists of one large, yet cozy, practice room, with sun streaming in through a double set of French doors onto a meditation shrine. Cubbies to store belongings are located outside the yoga room, by the one small bathroom/changing area, and front desk, where manager Ralph makes tea for the class after each session. Go Yoga also offers community reiki (palm healing) and acupuncture, as well as yoga retreats, the next of which is happening January 28-30.

The classes offered are varying levels of Hatha Vinyasa Flow, which combines the extended posing of Hatha Yoga with the fluid movements of Vinyasa. Many of the instruc-tors incorporate meditation, but lest non-meditators like myself be scared away by this, Lilia emphasizes the practicality of the studio’s philosophy. “There’s nothing new age about Go Yoga,” she said, allowing me to breathe a sigh a relief before tossing my Enya CD and recently purchased vial of patchouli oil in the trash.

At the end of the session, in savasana, or “corpse pose,” I felt Lilia place a lavender mask over my eyes before giving my shoulders a knead with scented oil.

1 Aerial yoga student Janice Muscio in yoga pose using silks. 2 Bikram instructor Luke Strandquist in Standing Head to Knee Pose. 3 Bikram instructor Jessicah Coulston in Eagle Pose. 4 Bikram class in session. Photos by  Eric Ryan Anderson

1 Aerial yoga student Janice Muscio in yoga pose using silks. 2 Bikram instructor Luke Strandquist in Standing Head to Knee Pose. 3 Bikram instructor Jessicah Coulston in Eagle Pose. 4 Bikram class in session. Photos by Eric Ryan Anderson

Bikram Yoga Williamsburg
(exceptionally sweaty yoga)
108 North 7th St.
b/w Wythe Ave. and Berry St.
718-218-9556
bikramwilliamsburg.com

Of all the yoga styles, Bikram is my favorite. As a chronic aerobic exerciser, I like to feel my heart beating out of my chest when I work out, though it turns out that sweating profusely, enough to fill a carnival dunk tank, will also do the trick. Bikram Yoga Williamsburg’s classes are held in one large, carpeted room that is kept at 104 degrees on average, for those who have ever wondered what it feels like to be cooked sous vide. The room is one of the few in the neigh-bor-hood that features full-length mirrors (some studios prefer that people not focus on themselves in this way), which steamily reflected a crew of thirty or-so Williamsburgians dressed in a Chorus Line-like array of exercise bikinis and profanely snug male bike shorts. I breathed through my warrior stances three feet from a bare-chested Russell Brand look-alike. Watching the beads of sweat stream through his chest hair was truly a spiritual experience.

My 4pm Tuesday class was taught by Sara, a tall, refreshingly curvy, woman, who wrote down the students’ names on a floorplan at the beginning of the class, so she could address us individually (me three times as much as anyone else) to adjust our posture from a podium at the front of the studio. She didn’t give us much time to pause or rest during the challenging practice that draws from 96 poses, which was probably intentional—if you stop to think about the equator-like heat, it’s much harder to stay in camel pose.

Bikram Yoga is the only Bikram (heated) studio on the Northside of Williamsburg, and, with an eight-year history, is another one of the neighborhood pioneers. In-structors are handpicked, and everyone goes through additional Bikram yoga training before teaching. The desk staff is friendly, and there is a spacious downstairs area for changing, including two showers and three bathrooms. Take advantage of the intro special—$20 for a week’s worth of classes, including mat and towel—during the next cold front. And all 7am classes are only $10, if you can manage to rise with the sun for sun salutation.

Unnata Aerial Yoga
(gravity-defying yoga)
241 Bedford Ave., Studio #7
b/w North 3rd and 4th Sts.
646-205-3210
aerialyoga.com

Unnata Aerial Yoga is a yogic exercise regimen created by Michelle Dortignac, combining the postures of yoga, with the athletics and flexibility of aerial acrobatics.

On the second floor, right above the King’s Pharmacy on Bedford, Dortignac clips aerial silks in a loop, or “hammock” formation, from ceiling rafters specially rigged for aerial acrobatic devices. A decade-long hatha yoga instructor, and accomplished aerialist with New York’s Suspended Cirque, Dortignac has crafted a thoughtful progression of poses which uses changes in emphasis of gravity and weight shifting to help you safely deepen your stretches, pinpoint the correct posture in complex poses, and find flexibility where you never thought you had it. While other instructors will tell you to plant your feet firmly into the ground, Dortignac is more often asking you to lift your own body weight in an assisted pull-up, or suspend yourself in the air from your waist in a full-split position.

The class can move slowly, but it certainly tests your balance, and strength. Throughout, Dortignac is supportive, encouraging, and sharp-witted. Noticing one of my yoga-mates was hesitant to hang upside-down, feet bound and knees flipped outward to either side in what I’ve taken to calling “Mutant Butterfly Pose,” she reassured, “The more you get used to it, the less scary it is. Kind of like living in New York.”

For me, the highlight of the class was savasana (“corpse pose”), which I entered by spreading out my panel of fabric so the hammock could support my entire body as I lay down. Completely ensconced in silky fabric, a sweaty sarcophagus levitating three feet above the ground, I offered Michelle $20 to let me nap there for an hour, light as a feather, stiff as a board.  (She declined.)

Classes are small and private (12 students or less), with a lot of personal attention, and you can sign up in advance via email or phone. Single classes are $20, and discounted packages are available as well.

Unnata Aerial class in session. Photos Courtesy  Unnata Aerial Yoga.

Unnata Aerial class in session. Photos Courtesy Unnata Aerial Yoga.

Hosh Yoga
(spreading the love)
55 Nassau Ave.
@ Guernsey St.
718-599-YOGA(9642)
hoshyoga.org

HOSH Yoga was named with purpose. “Hosh” is the Turkish word for “good and kind.” It is the root word of “welcome” and “happiness.” In sanskrit “hosh” means “awareness” or “awakening.” And “XOS,” the Turkish spelling of “hosh,” is, as the studio’s owner Hamid Elsevar explains, comprised of X’s and O’s—appropriate, since HOSH Yoga is all about spreading the love.

Many studios in the neighborhood offer community, or pay-what-you-wish, classes during the week, but HOSH is the only all pay-what-you-wish, non-profit yoga studio. The HOSH operation began during the summer of 2009, when Hamid and other volunteer instructors began conducting open sessions in McCarren Park on the corner of Lorimer and Bedford. When the weather became too cold for tree pose among the trees, Hamid took the class indoors to a bare-bones basement studio in a gym on Calyer St. But this past June, HOSH reopened in a new location on Nassau Ave. in super close proximity to Lomzynianka, for loading up on pierogies before class. (Although trust me, it doesn’t help flexibility.)

In my 6:30pm Friday class, taught by Hamid, the en-viron-ment had a more relaxed air than most yoga studios. Shoes came off at the door, but students kept their belongings beside their mats, and Hamid peppered instructions with jokes. He soundtracked the class with con-temporary indie rock, and mellow favorites, Thom Yorke crooning to us as we tried to bring our chests to our knees. “Soon, you can all go party!” Hamid said over the music, as he watched our thigh muscles shake in chair pose. This is a man who understands my motivations.

The studio space is huge, with high ceilings, sunny yellow walls, and beautiful, wood floors installed by Hamid and friends. Clear, Edison-style bulbs hang fashionably from the ceiling. Hamid and his generous volunteer crew will be finishing the build out of HOSH’s second yoga room in time for New Year’s resolutioners to take advantage, and nine new classes of varying intensity will be added to the diverse schedule. HOSH also plans to expand into schools and to offer retreats, all depending on the gracious donations of its students—so practice and give!

Namaste Yoga
(spiritual yoga)
336 Grand St.
(b/w Marcy Ave. and Havemeyer St.)
718-874-3484
namastewilliamsburg.com

Namaste is the studio for the spiritual set, and they know how to throw a party. The morning of my Vinyasa Flow class, the staff was preparing for a combined Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse/Winter Solstice Party, and the studio regularly throws full moon and new moon celebrations, including occasional female-only festivities for the empowerment of the ladies, and special practices like the Full Moon, Steam Room, Goddess Gathering (coming up on Wednesday, January 19). Amidst all of this jubilation, the people of Namaste also practice yoga.

Built from the ground up by owner/founder Deborah Desmond and her husband, the yoga room features bam-boo floors and support poles, with warm, squash colored walls and a green paned glass door out to the lovely med-itation garden (complete with firepit!). When I visited, the space was flush with cherry tree branches salvaged from the garden of a neighbor of Debbie’s grand-mother. The forestry made me feel like I was practicing in a Maurice Sendak book, earthy and wonderous.

The classes at Namaste are mostly Hatha Vinyasa Flow, but the studio also offers prenatal and restorative yoga. My class, a party of three on a cold, early weekend morning in a neighborhood of late-risers, held a combination of experienced and beginner practitioners. As always, I brought up the rear, with my hips forever unwilling to properly tuck in alignment. Sara, our instructor was patient and warm, and made us tea after class, which is, as I’m now coming to understand, the yoga equivalent of putting your date in a cab at the end of the night to make sure she gets home okay.

Small bathroom and changing facilities are located down a hand-painted spiral staircase, along with reiki and massage treatment rooms, and a brand new meditation room. There is a steamroom that is free for all members, and comes with the regular $17 class. And Namaste also houses a holistic aesthetician who works with mostly Aveda products, and offers acupuncture and the ancient medicinal remedy of “cupping,” in which hot cups are suctioned to the skin and then pulled off. Sounds relaxing. You folks can write the review on that one.

Namaste started as an all-donation studio, and now tries to offer at least one donation class a day. They also sell herbal products made by instructors and staff including salves and bath salts, and publish a quarterly zine.

Kula Yoga
(family yoga)
85 North 3rd St.
b/w Wythe Ave. and Berry St.
347-463-9886
kulayoga.com

Kula Yoga is the newest, it’s the coolest, it’s the behemoth. The Brooklyn extension of a beautiful Tribeca studio, Kula is the place everyone is talking about, and with good reason. The facility, opened just two months, is breathtaking, all built with reclaimed wood from a demolished farmhouse upstate. When you walk through the studio’s entrance on North 3rd St., it feels like you’re walking into the countryside —huge barn doors stand in as walls, and dark, battered wood has been fashioned into shelving and sink space. There’s even a sauna made entirely of repurposed cedar.

But what makes Kula stand out from the other studios in the neighborhood is its boutique, full-service feel. This is not no-frills yoga. At the front of the studio, you’re immediately greeted by the Shanti Shack, and all-organic snack factory run by a cheery woman named Brownie, who, the morning I attended class, had an organic egg and cheese scramble and sweet potato hash on the menu that could turn a meat-lover, vegetarian.

The class I attended, an express class, and the only 60-minute session of my seven-class neighborhood tour (Part 1)—almost all traditional yoga classes are 90-minutes, I have come to learn—was stuffed to the brim with the fashionable, Williamsburg parents. Even in child’s pose, the group looked parental. Perhaps because they were, with their kids doing baby downward dogs in Kula’s second studio.

“The kids class at the same time as the adult class is completely self-serving,” said Schuyler Grant, owner of the Kula locations. A genius idea, unless you don’t have kids. If the idea of someone else’s little critters jumping all over the place post-class is not so relaxing, maybe try Nikki’s 6:30pm class on Sunday, which is routinely followed by a supper cooked by Brownie in the Shanti Shack.

Schuyler and her Williamsburg location co-director, Nikki Vilella, do seem to know what Williamsburg parents want and need in a yoga studio. They are even getting Kula a wine license for what they’re calling “Detox /Retox.” “Food and wine and yoga,” said Schuyler. “To have all of those things in one place is beautiful.” Soon you will be able to grab a glass of wine post-savasana, and head on up to the amply cushioned mezzanine level, lovingly coined “The Snuggle Room” by Schuyler’s daughter, Lolly. Sounds pretty zen to me.

More information is always to be discovered on the internet! Find out more about each studio’s philosophy, class schedules and pricing by visiting their individual websites.